Slithery Surrender
Rev. Tiffani Kartalian
So, fun fact about me… I am terrified of snakes! Like, TERRIFIED!! While I know that I COULD use my Mind to release this fear, as I have with countless others, to be honest, my life has been just fine living in active avoidance of their existence. And when I do find the occasion to come in contact with their slithery-ness, the work that I have done to release my fear of looking stupid pays off in spades as I run shrieking in the opposite direction.
Given this, it should come as little surprise to you that my eight-year-old daughter is obsessed with reptiles. She has spent countless hours over the last year researching reptiles, planning for her future career as a reptile vet (apparently that is actually a thing!), and begging me to get her a pet snake. After months of the continuous back and forth of her begging for a pet snake, followed by me trying to find new and creative ways to let her know that she had a better chance of getting a pet unicorn that poops Skittles, she finally asked me for a lizard. I’m confident that she wanted a lizard all along, but was smart enough to know that if she started with a snake, she’d have a better chance of getting a lizard. Yeah, right…never gonna happen, kid! Lizards are just snakes with feet if you ask me.
As I walked through the halls of the reptile expo to purchase a pet lizard with my daughter, I was instantly cornered by my fear (and would have run in the opposite direction but for the fact that a full blown panic attack was beginning to set in and my feet appeared glued to the floor). There were snakes at every turn… big snakes! As my body started to tremble, tears welled up in my eyes, and I came within kissing distance of a ball python, I looked over at my daughter who was beaming from ear to ear and bouncing from booth to booth, taking in each opportunity to touch and play with her slithery friends. Through the pain of my own experience, I was struck by how much I love my daughter and how much I live for these moments when I get to see her radiate with the joy and enthusiasm of living her best life. I realized in that moment that I had a choice… I could surrender to that love, or I could surrender to my fear.
While I’d love to tell you that I spent the rest of the day blissfully wearing snakes as scarves and skipping from booth to booth, for me, surrender looked more like touching a ball python awkwardly with two fingers and welcoming this little guy into our happy home.
Say hello to Marshmellow!
These days, if you were to peek inside our windows, you just might find my new lizard friend “Marshmellow” napping on my shoulder or dining on roaches that I have squeamishly spooned into his terrarium… And THAT is the power of surrendering to love.