The Heart of the Matter

Rev. Kelly Bershinsky

Over the course of my life, I’ve been accused of many things. Just because I sat next to the film projector in Mr. Kiser’s science class, and just because the cassette tape which played along with the film was switched out in favor of AC/DC’s Back in Black, doesn’t mean I did it!

There was also the time I was accused of passing obscene jokes around our high school. In the end, it was agreed the jokes weren’t obscene, but they were funny. In this instance, the principal only called me to his office because he wanted to request a copy. With his copy in hand, the issue was laid to rest!

Growing up in small-town Oklahoma, I was even detained and questioned in connection with vandalism. There was a report, apparently, that I might be the culprit using a pellet gun to shoot some of the store front windows of the small businesses which dotted Main Street. In each of these instances, I was innocent of the charges.

I have, however, occasionally been accused of something which does seem fitting.

I’ve been told on numerous occasions I am too nice, too forgiving perhaps, that I should walk away and never look back. While I’m not sure one can be “too” much of these seemingly desirable qualities, I suppose I get the point.

As the youngest of four children, I faced an uphill battle for recognition and inclusion. Friends, cousins, neighbors preferred to hang out with the “big” kids in our family. I would sometimes be sidelined because, due to my age and stature, I wasn’t the most desirable playmate. So, as a young boy, I often experienced hurt feelings because I wasn’t always included.

However, those feelings never lasted very long. I had this incredible willingness to forgive. My feelings could be hurt over and over, and they were. Yet over and over, I’d forgive.

I seemed to have this place within where I knew things could, and would, change. A place where I saw the best in others even after being sorely disappointed. I like to think I have retained this quality because it’s a biggie! It is this perspective from which I continue to forgive, to love, to work toward better outcomes long after my mind and ego tell me to stop.

This place of goodness, however, comes not from the head but from the heart. It is from this space, from the heart, where our greatest work is accomplished.

So, what is the condition of yours? Can you freely access your heart to forgive, to love, to begin again? This is what surrender is all about! Are you able to surrender the repetitive story being told in your head so you can get to the heart of the matter?